Shop More Submit  Join Login
About Deviant Member Kylee N. L.Female/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 2 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 44 Deviations 710 Comments 936 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Favourites

Groups

Friends

Activity


Ok so yes I know it's still not up but, I've started roleplaying again, which means HELLO INSPIRATION!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm super excited to get back into this. Don't worry, I WILL finish this story. I have made it something I HAVE to do, for me. Cause it's kinda like a There's-Always-Light-At-The-End-of-the-Tunnel type story so it's super important for ME. Gonna get back into it RIGHT away! :D
Guys I'm suuuuuper sorry... I've been having serious writer's block and it's making me take FOREVER on Maybe There's Hope... But I WILL get the next chapter up soon. It's halfway done, I'm just slowly making myself work on it.
Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: strong language)
I don't know what I'm doing. Why do I feel this way? What's wrong with me? I think as I step off the scale, glaring down at it with hatred. 175lbs... I grit my teeth and kick the scale, making it clear out, and then stomp down the hall. I grab the handle to my door and then hear the obnoxious sound of my sister,  opening the front door. Here she comes, wanting to torture me even more.
Not wanting to deal with it, I open my door and step in, closing it behind me, and then slip under the bed and just breathe for a moment. Why can't I ever be left alone? I groan and punch the floor, recoiling in shock and pain as I damn near break a bone on the hard wood planks. Lifting my hands up and grabbing my hair angrily, I begin to count.
1... I tighten my grip in my hair as I hear her yell for me.
2... She yells for me again. I'm not gonna come out there to her.
3... She yells and I slam my elbow into the wall, feeling pain and hearing a satisfying crack of my shoulder.
4... I hear her come stomping down the hall. Whatever, I don't care.
5... She opens my door and yells at me.
Normally I just sit here and hide, but today I am in no mood for her crap. Punching my bed as I come out from under, I yell back at her. I've never done that before. "Why don't you just leave me the fuck ALONE for once?!" I scream at her, immediately regretting it after.
Well, there goes freedom. I think as she stomps forward angrily and grabs me by my hand, pulling me closer to her so she can talk to me even closer to my face. "You will NEVER speak to me like that, got it?" She barks.
I thrash and push her away, barely feeling the pain as I give myself an Indian-Burn on my wrist. Now I've truly done it, I'll be in so much trouble... "Don't touch me!" I say, anger taking over most of my decisions. I glare her straight in the eye, her blue eyes reflecting me perfectly.
I look so angry... What am I doing? That's my sister! Before she can respond I step back, retreating in shame. "I-I'm sorry, Lily... Truly, I am. I don't know what happened." I turn and crawl onto my bed, tucking into the corner and beginning to sob uncontrollably.
Lily just stands there, confused. As I bury my face in my knees, I feel her sit on the bed next to me. She wraps her arms around me and comforts me, but that's not what I want. I need to be punished... how can I treat my family like that and get away with it? I wonder as I reject her hugs and comforting words.
A few minutes pass of me glaring at the window, seeing myself reflected in it as my sister holds me. Eventually I decide to push her away, staring at the window. "It's alright, Lily... Thanks." I say, almost no emotion in my voice.
Looking at me, worried, Lily pulls away and walks out the door. Good, now I can be alone. I lay down and wait for her to close the door behind her, closing my eyes as I hear the quiet click.
* * * * * * *
I sit in my room, on my bed, staring at my reflection in the mirror on the wall. My icy blue eyes barely show behind my brown hair. It's been like this for weeks now, maybe months. I don't even know anymore. I lie to my family everyday about why I sit in here... I hate it. I lie to them everyday to try ang get out of school.
'I'm cramping!' I don't even get cramps... 'I'm sick though, mom!' I have a high immune system. 'I'm having a panic attack!' Never had one in my life. Getting pretty good at faking them, though. But that's not something to be proud of. I shoved a Q-tip down my throat yesterday to make myself throw up, just to make them believe me. What am I doing? Why am I doing it?
Standing and looking at my phone, it was 7:00 AM. Great, now I'm gonna have to do it again. I groan in irritation and then mess up my hair even more. I grab my makeup from underneath my bed and start working on making myself look sick and miserable. Once I am pale as a ghost and have thick bags under my eyes (thicker than normal, that is) I leave into the living room. My sister Lily is sitting on the couch, ready to take me to school before work. Well, now it's time to act.
"I don't feel too good, Lily..." I say, rubbing my stomach. I stop myself from pulling back in disgust as I feel my stomach, how it isn't perfect and flat. I make my face look like I am in pain, clenching my teeth. My sister looks up at me and studies me closely.
"Oh gosh, not again..." I say, turning and running/tripping to the bathroom. I grab a Q-tip and start to prepare for it. I'll never get used to this... I think. I breathe for a moment, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and then I slide it into my throat towards my uvula as fast as I can, giving myself no time to hesitate. I immediately cough as it scratches my throat, but I hold the Q-tip still. I've started, I can't stop. Rubbing my uvula with it, I cough a couple more times. And then I feel my stomach convulse and I lose everything into the toilet.
I lean back onto the door and try to regain my strength. Making yourself throw up is even more exhausting than doing it involuntarily. I groan again, my throat in immense pain, and I pull the lever, watching it all go down the toilet. I know I made enough noise for my sister to believe me. I close my eyes, breathe, and then open the bathroom door and go to my room. If she doesn't come get me in 5 minutes, I am good to stay.
I sit in my room for a good twenty minutes, wondering why I did that. I never want to lie to my family, yet I do it all the time. So much, I don't know what's a truth or what's a lie. I look up at the mirror and glare again, then turn and stare at the wall, trying to distract myself from the hate that rested like a stone in my stomach.
* * * * *
I wake up and see my cat at the end of the bed. I lean forward and grab her, resting her on my lap and giving her a giant kiss. She hates kisses, but that'll never stop me from giving them to her. I flip her onto her back and start to mess with her stomach, and since she's already in a bad mood from the kiss, I instantly feel her teeth sink into my hand.
I gasp in pain as her fangs pierce my skin. Her back legs kick my palm as her front legs grab my hand, holding it firmly in place. It doesn't take long for her to stop, and I pull back in pain. I know that if I don't let her get me, she'll get me worse later. I look at my hand and see multiple pricks and scratches start to bleed a little. I kiss her, pet her, and then go and get myself cleaned up.
It was never much of a task, just wash the cuts and dab them with toilet paper. Especially this time... She barely even got me, just the tiniest bit of blood showing up in the cuts. I guess that's kinda good, actually. I deserve more, though. I leave the bathroom and go back into my room, looking at my cat.
She's so happy, passed out at the end of the bed. I step towards her and pet her gently,  sighing as her purring comforts me. I can't wait till school's out... Only a week left! I think, smiling at that thought. Then I realize that that means I will just end up doing more things I don't want to... I'll be spending more time at home, I'm just gonna end up lieing more.
I just wish I could stop lieing...
Maybe There's Hope: *Chapter 1*
Been ready for a while but been unsure about uploading it, so here it is! ^.^
Loading...

Journal History

Ok so yes I know it's still not up but, I've started roleplaying again, which means HELLO INSPIRATION!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm super excited to get back into this. Don't worry, I WILL finish this story. I have made it something I HAVE to do, for me. Cause it's kinda like a There's-Always-Light-At-The-End-of-the-Tunnel type story so it's super important for ME. Gonna get back into it RIGHT away! :D

Donate

schneidermonkey24 has started a donation pool!
0 / 40

You must be logged in to donate.
No one has donated yet. Be the first!

deviantID

schneidermonkey24's Profile Picture
schneidermonkey24
Kylee N. L.
United States
I love to read and write. I love music and am a schneider monkey, I love animals and my favorite book series is Warriors. I love to hang out with my besties!
First off, I am not ashamed to admit this: CrazyShootin Stamp by CrazyShootin

copy this to your deviant ID if you love warrior cats!!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .¸,-'´`'-.,
.. ¸,---.,¸ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,·´;:;::.:. . . `,
. //;::.:. . *-.¸ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,´,´;:;::.:.. . . .;
^ll;;::.:.. .. . *·.¸ . . . .............. . .//;;;;;:;::..:.. .. ;
. ll;;;::.:.. .. . . .`-¸ . . . . . . . .. _¸,-¬´ ;;;;:;::.:..:..... l
. l,;;;::::. .. .. . .*,-~¬^*´¨¨¯¯ . . . . . .`*¬-.¸;::.:.. . ;
. .`;;;::.:.:... .. . . ,´.` . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .¯¨`¬-;:.;
. . `*¬;;;::.:... ,-´ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . `,
. . .`-, . .`-¬´¨¯ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
¸,.-~´` . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. ¸,----.¸ . . . .. ;
. . . . , . ., . . . . . . . . _ . . . . . . . . . . ¸·´ ¸ . . ; . . . . . `,
. . . . .. , . . . . . . ¸,-*¨ ¸¯`·,¸ . . . . . . . ;¸ . ¨ . ¸.´ . . . .. ;
. . . .. , . . . . . . . `, . .¨ . . };, . . . . . . ; ¯¨¨¯ . . . . . . . ;
. . . . . , . . . . . . . . `¬~¬*´¨ ` . . . . . . , . . . . . . . . . . ,´
. . . . .. , . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,·´
. . . . . . , . . . . . . . . . . . . , . .. ¸.·~¬*¨-` . . . . . . ,´
. . . . . .. , . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . `*·.¸,* . . . . . ,;·´
. . . . . . . .`·, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ¸;¸ . . .. ,.·`;
. . . . . . . . . .`¬-.,¸ . . . . . `¬---~¬^*´ ..¯¨¨ .·´
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .¨`*^¬-- . *¬--------¬*´¨

´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´´´´
´´´´´¶¶¶¶´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´´´
´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´´´
´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´´
´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´¶¶¶¶¶´´´
´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´
´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´
´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶$$¶¶¶¶´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´
´´¶¶¶¶$$$$$$$$¶¶¶´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´
´¶¶¶$$$$$$$$$$$¶¶¶´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´
´´¶¶¶$$$$$$$$$$$¶¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´
´´´¶¶¶¶$$$$$$$$$¶¶¶´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´
´´´´´¶¶¶¶$$$$$$$¶¶¶´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´
´´´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶$$¶¶¶´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´
´´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶´´´
Best friend: :iconvivikitty473: !!!!!!!!!
I am a fox, but I can't put up link.

According to a quiz, I am a ShadowClan warrior! Battle-hungry, aggressive, ambitious and greedy for territory. It is said that the cold wind that blows across the ShadowClan territory chills their hearts and makes them suspicious and untrusting. "And I agree! I am a ShadowClan cat, and nobody question me!" snarls this sentence.

Apparently I am a Shinx pokemon. " You are very active, and you enjoy learning. You have a bright personality, but others can sometimes feel intimidated by your openness." lol sounds like me! :D

Simons Cat _Fly PWNED_ Stamp by ImHisEternalAngel I Like Waffles. Stamp by bizarrostamps Dont Judge my Gallery by YourOwnArt DA Stamp - Roleplaying 01 by tppgraphics
Sarcastic Stamp by PixieDust01 llama llama llama by djKyoto Wolfs Rain  2 by princess-femi-stamps Feline invasion by prosaix
FAIL as a girl stamp 2 by JiiHaku Spongebob stamp by Dreamypunk Scrach-cat and Cymow by vivikitty473 Talon by vivikitty473 Buttercup And Cutie by vivikitty473 Special Stamp by Kezzi-Rose Hates You Stamp by HappyStamp OCs Stamp by Miho-Nosaka-stamps I'M FEMALE by Washu-M I REFUSE Stamp by RoxyOblivion Crypts of Lieberkuhn by SirvanaRachana I don't know you enough. by PrincessFlaw Warriors Stamp by Goldencloud Stamp - I'm a virgin 1 by duhcoolies Sarcastic Stamp by PixieDust01 My favorite and commonly used OCs no copy***Talon
 -Reason for name: She actually named herself. And it's because of her permanantly stained paws and her sharp, long, deadly claws.
 A dark grey she-cat with bright yellow-orange eyes and paws stained with blood. Rogue
Family
 Parent(s): unknown, other than that they were rogues, and were very murderous cats.
 Sister(s): Honey, unknown
 Brother(s): unknown
Mate(s)
 No one yet, but is in love with a silver tom named Silverpelt, a warrior of ThunderClan.
Cloudblaze ( formerly Cloud)
 -Reason for name: Cloud for her personality, and then blaze because of her cquick witted thinking and her passion for doing what is right.
 She-cat, a seal, chocolate tortie point, she has a black, orange and white speckled muzzle, tail tip, ears, and paws. She has a light
 brown natural color and bright blue Siamese eyes. ThunderClan
Family
 Parents: River is the mother. A gray rogue who's actions are as smooth and confident as the river. Forest is the
Look at mah stamps STAMP by Albino-Broccoli Black cat stamps by Shizuru117Bad Mood Stamps Smiling by stamps-club stupid stamps by theestephasaurusrex
hehe, www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbPDKH… and llama llama llama by djKyoto are the same!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVIRO5… maru!
www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=c… some of these cats are in there voluntarily!!!!!!
I support Tiny stamps by cilen-chii Pretty Stamps by HappyStamp Stamps Stamp by JetProwerTheFox Stop Eating the Stamps by EmeraldTokyo Supporting Supportive Stamps by Otogakure-Akatsuki I Support Stamps On Stamps by MatthewsStamps No Sleep Stamps Will Eat Me by bizarrostamps :thumb272453356: Insomniac Stamp by Mirz123 I Love Chocolate by Sophibelle NO SMOKE STAMP by schtolz Meat lover by prosaix Rock Music Stamp by Davidgtza2 Happily Childfree by OurHandOfSorrow Tomboy Stamp by PaltZu Ace Stamp 1 by RJDaae Stamp: Atheist by 8manderz8 Girl Gamer Stamp by Eisoptrophobic


FAKE FRIENDS -Never seen you cry
REAL FRIENDS -Cry with you
FAKE FRIENDS - Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back ...
REAL FRIENDS - keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours
FAKE FRIENDS -Know a few things about you...
REAL FRIENDS -Could write a book about you
FAKE FRIENDS -Would knock on your front door..
REAL FRIENDS -Walk right in and say "I'm home"
FAKE FRIENDS -Will help you up when you fall over..
REAL FRIENDS -Will jump on top of you and shout "dog-pile"
FAKE FRIENDS -Are around for awhile..
REAL FRIENDS -Are for life
FAKE FRIENDS - will read this
REAL FRIENDS - will steal this ♥ ( me and vivi firmost of the real friends
Technitian!
You are the god of balance and destabilization! You know the joints like the back of your palm, and you can easily manipulate them. It's all in the technique, and that's what YOU GOT! ( This is not really the type of fighter I am, But I want to be this way! That would be awesome...) CrazyShootin Stamp by CrazyShootin
What Animal Are You?
What Animal Are You?
Hosted By theOtaku.com: Anime
Interests

AdCast - Ads from the Community

×

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconsabaku-no-kaze:
Sabaku-No-Kaze Featured By Owner Edited Oct 1, 2014  Student General Artist
HAAAAAAPPPPPYYYYYYY BIIIRRTTTHHHDAAAAYYYYY MANNNNNNN

I HOPE IT WAS AWESOME

LIKE YOU
Reply
:iconschneidermonkey24:
schneidermonkey24 Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2014
DANK YOU FWIEND

^.^
Reply
:iconcreeddiskenthfangirl:
CreedDiskenthFanGirl Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
yo
Reply
:iconschneidermonkey24:
schneidermonkey24 Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014
Hola ^.^
Reply
:iconcreeddiskenthfangirl:
CreedDiskenthFanGirl Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
hows it going?
Reply
:iconschneidermonkey24:
schneidermonkey24 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2014
Good you?
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconshatterwing123:
Shatterwing123 Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014
Thanks for the watch! Have a llama!
Reply
:iconschneidermonkey24:
schneidermonkey24 Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2014
Your art's what caught my attention, so you deserve my watch. :3 :)
Reply
:iconblossomheartdakitty:
Blossomheartdakitty Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014
Sorry to bother you! Every night , someone thinks about you before
they go to sleep,
At least fifteen people in this
world love you.
The only reason someone would ever hate you is
because they want to be
just like you
There are at least two people in this world that
would die
for
you
You mean the world to someone.
Someone that you don't even know
exists
loves
you
When you make the biggest mistake ever,
something good comes from it.
When you think the world has turned its back on
you, take a
look.
Always remember the compliments you've received.
Forget the rude remarks.
So if you are a loving friend, send this
to
everyone on your list
including
the person that sent it to you.
Tonight
at
midnight your true love will
realize
they like
you.
Something good will happen to you between 12 in the morning
and
four o'clock pm
tomorrow,
it could be anywhere . Get ready for the biggest
shock in your
life
If you break this chain YOU will be cursed with
relationship problems
for
the next ten years . Send this to fifteen people
in fifteen minutes !!
Make Someone else's day! Help get a smile on someone's face! Help someone out! <3 remember that your loved
Reply
:iconschneidermonkey24:
schneidermonkey24 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2014
I had no idea how to respond to this, I am so sorry... 
Reply
Add a Comment: